New Guy 6

Editor's Note: The following is a post relating to the author's being in a play. 

We all knew it was coming. I knew it would be here soon and I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about it. Well, that's not really true... I knew. I knew I would be grateful for the time off, but I would miss the work, the people, the feeling of belonging to something larger than myself.

And then, it happened. The last show day arrived.

After a long week and a double, (matinee and evening show), the day before, Sunday came. With it, the realization that this was the last time I would be in this costume, this show, with these people.

I'm really going to miss it.

From the first notes of the opening number, I knew that it was all over. It was unique and it would soon be gone. This cast came together and made it happen. Now, I know that every cast is like this at some point, or at least, each cast has its moments, but this one was truly lightning in a bottle.

A few veterans, a few first timers, a few "I've done a few shows" types, and lots of folks who have big talent were all thrown together to create something that would be a good start to the season for this theater. At least, that was the plan. What we got was two weeks of sold out, standing-room-only shows, standing ovations and huge laughs in all the right places. Smiles, hugs, and lots and lots of really happy theater patrons

.

The 2015-16 season for this theater is off to a great start.

I learned an awful lot on this show. Among the coolest things I learned was the fact that good actors make it look easy. They make you think, "Well, sure... I can do that." But, somehow, you just don't. Because good acting is hard, and it takes more than just balls and desire. it takes practice and experience. It takes time, and people willing to see that with time and practice you can do it, too.

It takes tech people who do their jobs so you can do yours. It takes set designers, builders and painters that care about the details. It takes lighting folks and sound folks and stagehands and costumers and choreographers and directors that give a shit and want to create something magical.

It takes all of your functioning brainpower in the beginning, so that by show time you can do these lines in your sleep. But, you don't, because it also take high energy and a willingness to go out and give it your all. Your A game, every time.

Theater is different than any other brand of acting. On film, you can craft your character, build nuances and be subtle as you create a persona. Need a retake? Sure, as long as your director has time. The more influential you are, the more chance you have to get it just right. In musical theater, it's the opposite. The better you are, the more you are expected to hit your marks every time. Nail your lines every time. Be nuanced and subtle, broad and boisterous and everything in between as the character demands, every time. You had better be ready when your cue comes. Be ready to step out into the light and deliver. Every time.

It's tough. It's sweaty, hard and demanding work. But, no one demands more from you than you do from yourself. That's what makes it great. That's what makes it magical. That's what makes it worth it for someone to leave the house and come to a theater to see a live show.

I'll still write. I'll still create art and direct short films and do voice-overs. But, acting...

Yeah, I want to be in another show.

Any show. Every time.

New Guy 5

Editor's Note: The following is a post relating to the author's being in a play. This, after moving to another part of the country from New York. There will be more posts as the show develops.

An eye-opening experience.

In the show I was in immediately before this one, I had the great fortune to work with a director who was also a teacher. What this meant, for me, was two months of free acting lessons. In exchange, all I had to do was memorize my lines. Each nuance was crafted as I imagined the character, but it was always under the watchful eye of the director. The fact that he was also the writer of the play afforded everyone in the cast the opportunity to learn exactly what the characters were supposed to be feeling. What I brought to the character was approved before it saw stage time.

This theater is a different animal. Here, the show is outlined, the director blocks the scenes and offers their insight, and that's it. You are expected to bring your A game, develop your character, and turn up for the audience. Feeling unappreciated? Tough shit, do your job. And look around. Everyone else is making it happen without having their hand held.

I was unprepared for this level of freedom. It continues to be an eye-opening experience. I do feel more prepared now for another show, even while prepping for the final week of shows on this one. I only wish I had not succumbed to neurotic self-doubts, which put me on the roller coaster of "Am-I-Doing-This-Right?", like I've never had before. I've experienced many emotions in my life, but self-doubt has never been an issue before. I'm glad I shook that off, glad I'm back to being me.

We've been playing to sold-out houses, and getting standing O's across the board. I'm not taking any of the credit for that...  there are people in this show that can sing and dance, and act their asses off. I'm just trying to hold up my end. But, the bottom line is that we are doing a good job of entertaining the people that come to see the show. They smile, they cheer, they laugh at the funny parts and applaud like they mean it. They shake my hand and tell us all how wonderful the show was. Not much else in life can be better than that.

I auditioned for this show so that I could share something with my son, (he's an up-and-coming star, and he gets more amazing with each show). Serendipitously, I get to stand next to him during curtain call. That makes all the neurosis worthwhile. He may forget this experience as he moves up and up and up, but, I never will. Before I know it, he'll be going off to college and finding his own way. Even so, we'll always have this show, this time in our lives.

 In the blink of an eye he's grown from that kid in the children's theater troupe to a young man who's star has just begun to rise. I'm proud-to-bursting, glad and thrilled about so many aspects of his journey. Not the least of which was watching him 'get it' in rehearsals, try hard, and make it his own. I asked his advice on more than one occasion. His council was always dead-on.

As we look to the next show, and the next and the next, I have nothing but confidence... in him, in me and in the shape of things to come.

It has been an eye-opening experience.

New Guy #4

Editor's Note: The following is a post relating to the author's being in a play. This, after moving to another part of the country from New York. There will be more posts as the show develops.

One of the simplest things in the world is to walk to a certain spot, and then stand there. Slightly less easy is to be told to do that in a certain amount of time. Slightly less, but, still... ridiculously easy. Ever since I lifted my baby self up by the corner of the coffee table all those years ago, I have been walking. And standing.

Sure, as a baby, I was unsteady. I got better. Then, in my 20's, (for reasons that shall not be discussed here), walking began to get difficult again. Only this time, it was usually between the hours of midnight and four a.m. Seeing was also not always good. Punching was okay. Getting punched was do-able, too. But, walking... not so much.

Broken furniture and bruises aside, walking is something us humans can do relatively well. Yes, I know that some people can't, either because of sickness or wounds or born-that-way-ness, but the typical human walks rather effortlessly.

Then why, I ask myself with frightening regularity, can I not hit that mark, on time to say my line? I can get there early. So early, in fact that I get to stand there rather stupidly, waiting for the music to catch up. I can get there late. That is really not a problem. I sail through the air, landing close to my mark in just enough time to functionally attempt the choreography. But, hitting it perfect? Hmmm. Nope.

So far.

I'm told that I'm too hard on myself. After learning the whole six minute routine over the course of two hours, I expect my brain to have it memorized. I expect to do this perfectly. I practice in my head. I wake up in the middle of the night, obsessing over the timing. I want this to be effortless. But, it isn't. It is rather demanding of effort. Demanding that I put forward more and more until I get this right.

 If I was in the audience watching someone like me, I would surely scoff at their lack of ability. I would mutter contemptuously, "He has no business being up there." And, then I would sniff and chuckle and feel mildly superior. Did I mention that it feels like everyone else is thinking that about me, too?

As with anything, perfection comes with practice. And, I am determined to not be the guy who doesn't do this stuff well. So, I practice. I count beats. I listen, and watch, and hopefully learn.

So, when people tell me what a great job I did on stage, I'll believe them.

Maybe.

Ok, I won't ever, but, you get the idea.

New Guy 1

Editor's Note: The following is a post relating to the author's being in a play. This, after moving to another part of the country from New York. There will be more posts as the show develops.

"1-2-3-and!". Flap, flap, flap. "You have lines here." Flap, flap, flap.

That sound was me frantically flailing at pages in the script, trying to find where we were. I had been doing that for a while by this point, but the music coming from the piano had been masking it. Now, as the Musical Director was waiting for me to catch up, it became somewhat more apparent to the other fifteen people in the room. I didn't realize that the lines I had rehearsed so diligently came in the middle of a song. As I know now, that's why they are written on a page where everything else is in all caps.

Not knowing how to read music is a bit of a hindrance, but certainly not a deal breaker. I do know how to count, after all, so it doesn't take much for me to fall into line. However, when things get hectic, when songs are sung in a round, where conversations occur while there are, "whoo!'s" and "yeah!'s" going on, it doesn't take much for me to fall out of line.

Thankfully our Musical Director is patient.

Like when he says, "Someone is changing keys on the second line." Well, thanks for the cover, but we all know that it was me. Or, at least, it feels like everyone knows. I feel like I'm sitting on the ledge of a building, watching myself down below. Watching myself enshrine my amateur status for all the world to see. In my head, I know that I'm no amateur. Seeing and hearing what's coming out of my mouth, though...

Blocking is easier. This part I understand. Enter from stage left. Cross to center, speak. move around to here, speak. This I get. I know my lines cold for this scene. I have a system for learning and remembering lines. I won't bore you with my personal approach, but, suffice to say, I've got this. I love this part! I get to try out different inflections, different ways of emoting.
"Okay, say your line and exit stage right."

Shit.

The upshot is that there are some really talented people in this cast, and I can see from the way they approach things that it will be a pleasure to be a part of this show. I was lucky enough to run lines with one of the actors with which I share most of my scenes. She is utilizing a clipped, haughty accent, which is perfect for her part. When I remarked that it would be difficult for me to not slip into the same kind of accent, she remarked, "No! I like the New York thing you're doing."

I didn't realize I was doing a New York thing. I guess I have no choice but to do a New York thing.

The “Ardor’s Bridge” campaign is over.

This post also appeared on my "I'm On It" personal blog. It appears here as a reminder to authors that writing a thing is just the beginning. You still have to sell it. Sometimes, a great idea just isn't enough.

It has been a stressful month. Between the people supporting the idea of “Ardor’s Bridge” and the stress of watching our contribution numbers creep too slowly toward our goal, I feel torn.

I’m relieved to at least know the outcome. I’m sorry that I couldn’t drive this project home.

Here is the letter that I sent out on my social media and email channels today:
~
The “Ardor’s Bridge” campaign is over.
We didn’t hit our target goal. No one that pledged a contribution to our kickstarter campaign will be charged. The campaign is done.
We didn’t make it.
We tried to develop an idea and raise funds to see it through. We raised about 20%. To the 18 people that did contribute, and those who wanted to do so but couldn’t for a variety of reasons, I want to say “Thank You”. Thank you for taking the time to read what this project was about. Thanks for reaching into your own pocket in a time when we all feel the economic pinch. And, thanks for believing that every kid deserves to be part of the dialogue that helps to change the culture they face every day.
We didn’t make it. We’ll pull back, regroup and explore some other options. If we can find a way to bring this about, we’ll let you know. I hope we can count on you again in the future for your support.
Thanks for all of your belief and support. I appreciate it.
~
For my first play, it wasn’t a bad effort. Sure, it’s not Shakespeare, but, it was written in the right spirit. It was written as a tool for positive change. I wanted to do my small part in helping schools change the culture of indignity and bias that faces every kid that doesn’t feel like they “fit in”. When you realize that the kids who don’t fit in vastly outnumber the kids that do, you start to see the frustratingly stupid way we as humans treat each other, and allow ourselves to be treated. You start to understand the frustration and fear each kid faces, to varying degrees, every day in school.

My play/video project didn’t raise enough funds on kickstarter to get it off the ground. That doesn’t mean the problem goes away. Kids will still be bullied. Kids will still be mocked for who they are perceived to be instead of who they are or what they do. But, since enough of us haven’t taught our children not to punish others for having the audacity to be themselves, the state has stepped in.
The state government has passed a law that charges schools with changing the culture in their buildings.

Laws mean consequences for those that run afoul of them, and punishments for the offenders. But, you can’t change fear and ignorance through punishment. That can only be done through dialogue. Understanding between kids is the only thing that will start that change. Schools will need your help.

For those parents who do not teach their kids to hate, your kid is going to need your guidance. Singling other children out for being different is a common way for kids to act on their own fears. This can get out of hand pretty easily and surprise those parents who teach tolerance at home. Schools will no longer be able to turn a blind eye to bigotry and will err on the side of caution in the early days of these new laws. Please make sure that your kids are aware of the new guidelines, even if they seem outrageous to you. They are still real, still laws and will still be enforced. Change will come as common sense takes hold, but for now, remember that administrators, teachers and your kids are all going to need you to be involved. Dialogue, understanding on all sides and tolerance for the views of others is what is needed, now more than ever.

For those parents who still feel that LGBT kids should be mocked, made fun of or brutalized, be aware. This is just the beginning of change. The days when it’s acceptable to openly and actively discriminate against another American based on their sexual orientation are coming to a close.

I wanted to help by writing a play with a story about tolerance and acceptance, filming it as a movie, and then making that film available to schools to be used as a way to get those dialogues going between students and their peers. That’s all I wanted to do. I didn’t expect to change the world or cure the ills of society. I just wanted to help. To that end, I gathered together a bunch of people who also felt that this was a worthwhile cause. Still more saw the value of it and contributed funds. Even more planned to do so but couldn’t for a variety of reasons. We all knew that we weren’t going to single-handedly fix the world. We just wanted to help a little. If we all help a little, that can add up to a lot.

We’ll find a way. As the creative and generous people I brought together for this project move back to their regular lives, the dream lives on. We will all find ways to help. And, who knows… maybe we’ll find another way to produce “Ardor’s Bridge”. If it’s a good enough idea, the universe won’t let it die.

I'm Worried

With only a few days to go, I have to admit, I’m getting worried. For the past three weeks, I’ve been trying to raise money for a project. I’ve raised about 10% so far, and that’s not without a bit of spamming and shaming my friends and family. I live in a reasonably stable section of the planet. The amount I’m trying to raise shouldn’t be too big a deal. I have two meetings coming up where I’m hoping to convince some people of the importance of my ideas, but, one never knows how those things will turn out.

Perhaps a little background is in order.

A few months ago, the local school district where I live hosted a meeting outlining the latest ruling from the state. It was actually bigger than that. A law had been passed, outlining the steps schools had to take to ensure that bullying, discrimination and general assholery would no longer be tolerated among the students. No more shoving the geek in a locker, no more marginalizing the fat kid. The real thrust of it, though, was tolerance. Kids that identified as gay, lesbian, transgender or bisexual were to be treated as if they deserved basic human dignity. They were to be treated as if they should be judged by their actions instead of being judged by how far they were from “normal” or “typical”.

Excellent in theory. Impossible in practice.

Rules and laws, by their definition, require punishments and consequences. But, you can’t legislate intelligence. You can’t punish someone into believing something they don’t believe. If you have a kid who delights in pushing around a smaller kid, no amount of punishment will change that. The only option is to try and reach that kid through meaningful dialogue. The only chance to change that kid is to prove to him that there are no “groups” or “communities” of people except the one we all share.
Schools are going to need tools that they can use to get those kinds of conversations started.

So, I wrote a play. I plan to produce it and film it. I want to make the subsequent film available to schools to be used as a way to help get those conversations started.

After I wrote it, I took it to a school administration official. I asked him if he thought I’d hit the right tone. I asked him if I had gone too far, or not far enough. I picked his brain and made sure that what I had on paper was what was needed to make a difference. He assured me that this was a worthwhile idea, and my script was definitely something that could help.

My confidence bolstered, I sat down with some really creative people and asked them to help me. I asked them to read it and consider directing it and handling the musical direction. Gracefully, they agreed. So, I started a campaign on one of the online crowd funding websites. After a few fits and starts, I got my project up and running.

More creative people signed on. I secured the actress I wanted for the lead role, and another that I had written a pivotal role for as well. Through my director friend, I am excited about the choreographer that has agreed to be involved. My wife has agreed to manage the project, and no better project manager can be found. My friend who will be in charge of costumes is second to none in terms of tenacity and brilliance under fire. It is all coming together. Now I just need to secure the rest of the funding.

If I don’t make it, the project may be shelved for a while, while I try other sources of funding. More likely, though - this project will die.

Please help. Follow this link to contribute. Dance Play project.
I could tell you the story, I could tell you all about my childhood and how I got to where I am now. I could tell you why this is important to me and why it should be important to you. But, the bottom line is that these kids need to be able to go to school and learn without fear or having to smile through the indignities other kids visit upon them. I want to help make that happen.

I was telling a friend about this project and how worthy it is and he said to me, “Hey, what are you going to do? The world is a cruel place.” I thought about that for a minute, and replied, “No, it isn’t. It’s just full of cruel people.” But to his question, I indicated my project and said. “This is what I’m going to do. What are you going to do?”

And so, I ask you the same question. Will you help? If so, thanks. If not, thanks for reading this far. I hope you find a way to make a difference, too.

Tolerance - Walking the Walk

I did something for the first time the other day. I launched a campaign to ask people I know, and some people I don’t know, for money. This is not something that comes naturally to me.

But, it is a good idea.

For the past few years, I have been teaching myself how to be a niche video maker. My niche is educationally-minded stuff that makes a difference. My very first effort was a Photoshop-based project tutorial. Screen captures and voice-overs. That was interesting. I had learned to use Photoshop and wanted to teach others.

Next was a cooking video featuring a woman who made specialty cookies and desserts out of her home kitchen. That was fun. The following year, I created a DVD set for preschoolers, and that went click in my head. This was a use of my talents that I could get behind. I got to plan, shoot, edit, create graphics and do the whole thing. I loved that project and still do. It was called Noodle Boosters and you can still buy a set today. http://www.noodleboosterstore.com/

Since then, I’ve created a few different educational pieces of work for different grade levels, K-12. I like doing this stuff. I’m a big kid at heart and I think kids need stuff that doesn’t talk down to them, but still gets the message across. RU Listening was one of my favorites, a short film about cyber bullying. You can see it on YouTube here.

On weekends, I usually videotape the performances of a local children’s theater for the parents. You meet a lot of great, like-minded people when you volunteer. I highly recommend it. I’ve done a few video projects with the folks who run the theater, and they even appeared in Noodle Boosters as the puppeteers. I’ve met some wonderfully talented kids there as well. Singers, actors and dancers with amazing talent. Kids from 2nd grade right on up through high school. My family has been involved in this particular theater for four or five years now, and we’ve seen little kids grow into some pretty talented young adults.

Even though I’ve acted on stage, I prefer being creative at my desk. Writing, editing, etc. To that end, I wrote a play that is told through different styles of dance. No, I don’t know anything about dance. What I do know, however, is that dance is probably the purest form of human expression. And the young dancers I have met are probably the most dedicated and driven people I know. The physical work involved is second to none, and the mindset needed to make a human body do those things on command is something that I just don’t have. Hence, I have a tremendous respect for it.

So, I wanted to do something that brings together all of my skills, all of my experience and all of my creative friends and do something that will serve up a good message for kids. Such a project needs to move me, awe me and provide a chance to do something worthwhile. Tolerance, respect for the differences in others and a story that can illustrate different styles of dance was the way to go.

Ardor’s Bridge is that play. It’s a story of a young fairy who falls in love with a wood sprite. Their two cultures don’t get along, and these two kids have to figuratively build a bridge between their two families. The fairies are defined by their traditional ballet style. The wood sprites are rougher and more unrefined. These two styles of dance, and a few more, will tell the story.

Of course, I will design the sets, collaborate on the costume design and generally drive everyone crazy with my attention to details. But, the folks I work with are used to me, and while they may roll their eyes and plead with my wife to reign me in, what I say usually goes and gets done.

I usually have a customer lined up for such a project beforehand. This time, I don’t. I believe in this project so much, I decided to take a big risk and put it all on the world of the web. I started a kickstarter project to raise the funds for Ardor’s Bridge. You can find it here http://kck.st/Qyr5Zc

If I reach my goal, we’ll go into auditions and first rehearsals in September. If I don’t reach my goal, the project may die.

I don’t want to do this unless I can do it right. I’ll do as much of the work myself as humanly possible to save on costs. Many of the folks who will be involved will be working gratis or close to it as well. I think we can do it. I think we can raise the money we need. I think it’s important and I think the world will see it that way.
What do you think?

Crowd Funding

Sure, I could do porn, (shoot it or edit it. Not star in it… what were you thinking?), or some soul-sucking corporate job where I go to an office every day , (been there, done that). But what I really want to do is make something that helps people. I’ve produced a few short films aimed at a youth audience, highlighting the dangers of cyber-bullying, and bullying in general. I’ve done school related short videos on special needs & technology. I volunteer and have for a few years, both in schools and in youth related organizations. I like to help. I want to work on projects that are good for kids, good for humanity and good for my soul.

So, I’ve written a play.

I’m working on developing this project that will re-enforce the need for tolerance between peoples. It’s a stage play that I plan to film like a TV show, and make it available to every school district I can reach. Issues of racism, bigotry and ignorance will be explored in a kid-friendly, thought-provoking way. And, and this is the really cool part, the story will be told, in many ways, through different styles of dance. It’s a heady project and I’m equal parts excited and terrified.
Excited because I have rounded up some of the most talented people I know to be a part of it. Terrified because it’s going to be expensive to produce, and the returns could be great… or non-existent.

So, I’m looking to crowd fund it. But where to go? Kickstarter seems like the obvious choice, but there are others. IndieGoGo, GoFundMe and more. They all charge fees that seem fair and equitable. They all have pros and cons, and I’m hoping to get your expertise, in the form of comments below, to shed some light on it.

Kickstarter.com seems like the right choice. There are lots of projects that get funding through this site, and there are some hugely creative things going on there. Since they limit their scope to creative projects, it seems like a non-brainer.
IndieGoGo is another site that focuses, a bit more broadly, on funding creativity. I like their option for a flexible vs. fixed campaign.

GoFundMe.com is another that has risen to the top of my investigations. They offer ongoing funding opportunities and open-ended campaigns.

All of these ideas rely on my ability to get people that I already know to contribute and fund my project. Kickstarter and IndieGoGo seem to have more name recognition, which could conceivably bring me supporters and patrons that I don’t personally know.

It comes down to a few things:
Most of the people I know volunteer as well, in the same causes. Sure, they could contribute a few bucks here and there, but they don’t have more or less than I do. I’m going to run out of friends and family pretty quick.
The other aspect of all of this is that these sites seem to be too good to be true. I can raise how much? Really? Wow!

So, I ask you… do you have any experience with these sites? What pros and cons have you experienced? Share with me your knowledge, wise person!